This waiting shit is for the birds. Who ever thought two weeks could take so long?? Two weeks to find out if all the money spent and being poked and prodded paid off. Two weeks to find out if there is a little tiny person kickin it in the womb. Speaking of wombs, the term Hostile Womb really cracks me up. We can’t help wondering if I have little tiny Masshole Lesbians inside my uterus bullying the sperm just trying to complete their mission. Hats on backwards, arms crossed, all bowed up with Boston accents, yelling at the innocent little sperm, “What the fack ah you doin heah?? Get the fack outta heah!” It is, after all, the first time sperm has entered the premises. I am what they call, a “Gold Star”. So here is to hoping the little Massholes inside me cooperate, and let just one sperm accomplish the mission. We only need one!
9 More days…
Memoirs of a Masshole 
Cargo short wearing bitches
lol
Reblogged this on healthytakeover and commented:
Extra! Extra!
The Masshole has started blogging! Here she’s discussing hostile wombs and little Bostonian lesbians beating up those poor little sperm inside of her.
Love it! Everything crossed for you both. 🙂
Waiting sucks. I too love the expression “hostile womb,” I’m pretty sure mine is hostile even though I never tried to get pregnant. Adrienne and I commented on this the other day, about how she and I are not women who should ever be pregnant. It’s just safer that way.
Haha, true. However, we are betting if I get pregnant and actually bring a human into this world, it could spark her insides to want to reproduce!
Having never planned a pregnancy, despite having three children, I think I understand the term “hostile womb.”
AS brought me here, obvs. I hope those sperm break into your egg the way I break into a bag of kettle chips.
AS?
Adrienne Schmadrienne 😉
Silly me. I’m so consumed by all these ridiculous baby and pregnancy acronyms that I seem to have lost sight of what actually makes sense. *smh*
Now I wish I would have said, “Just remember the most important thing is JXLDPOCRS in pregnancy.” Then never responded when you asked me what it was.
But seriously, so happy for you! Can’t wait to read all about it.